Pre Op Appointment

Yesterday we took Miller to his pre op appointment. I cannot believe his surgery is 6 days away. To say that I am nervous would be a huge understatement. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to kick and scream like a 2 year old child and beg God not to make me do it. Not to make me drive to Jackson and hand my child over to a team of surgeons to open his chest and perform heart surgery on my 5 month old. What I really want to do is just curl up here in some comfy pj's and hold Miller hostage forever. However, the choice is not mine to make. This surgery is not elective. It is a necessity for him to survive.

I learned yesterday that Miller now weighs 16 lbs. 10 oz. He is a big boy, and the doctors are thrilled with that.  Dr. Salazar told us a healthy baby means a healthy heart. We continue to thank God daily for our support group. I get comments from people all over the country on our caring bridge site. I think we are on every church prayer list there is! I just got an email from a high school friend who forwarded me her church's newsletter this week with a prayer request for Miller and his upcoming surgery. I can't tell you what that feels like, but it brings me to tears every time. God is watching out over this precious boy, and it surely helps that SO many people are praying for him!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. Phillipians 4:6. 

This has always been one of my very favorite verses. However, have you ever really tried to do as God commands us to do. Do we realize how much we worry? How anxious we are about everything? In Matthew 6:27, Jesus says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  This is so so true, and yet we stress about decorating our houses, being craftier than the mom next door, picking up toys after dinner, what to wear to a special event, the list goes on and on. I know so many people who get up in arms about the things that really do not matter. I used to be one of them. I still am one of them. During these last few months, I have tried SO HARD to live out this verse. When I'm feeling worried or nervous, I just thank God for all he has given me and give the rest to him. That is probably, single handedly, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Just give my children over to God. I am a type A personality, always in control, always organized with a specific plan. But I did it, and I hope you have too. No matter how hard we try not to think about it, our kids lives are not in our hands. So I've spent many hours lately praying to the man that gives and the man that takes away.

I know Miller will do great with this surgery. His heart will be working so much better after this, and he will feel like a million bucks. Our family can return to a somewhat normal lifestyle, without the worry of another surgery anytime soon. I have the upmost confidence in God's plan for Miller, and for our family. He has never let us down, nor will he ever. Please pray for us as the surgery day approaches. Pray that we have the strength to hand over our miracle baby to this amazing group of doctors. Pray that Maggie understands why we have to spend a week or two in Jackson, and that she isn't worried about her baby brother. Pray that Miller has a fast and pain free recovery. And pray for the doctors. Dr. Salazar has made it clear of his faith in the Lord, and I have the upmost confidence that the greatest physician of all is telling Dr. Salazar exactly what to do that day!

I will update our caringbridge site while we are in the hospital. Thank you for your love, support, prayers, etc!   http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/millerbrianmoore