The New Me

Ok, here is the post I keep coming back to, but cannot finish. It brings too many emotions up and the tears just start flowing. My Miller turned 7 months old yesterday. He IS a miracle. 30 years ago babies with this heart condition did not live 7 days. Now, as Miller turns 7 months old, I am reminded of all the things I have learned from my sweet Miller and our journey together.

1- First and foremost, teach your children about God. When I think back on those first few days after leaving the hospital, and all the emotions that I felt, He was the ONLY thing that kept me going. He carried me when I didn't feel like walking. He gave me strength when I was too weak to get out of bed. He gave me comfort when I was scared to death. He gave me hope in what felt like a hopeless world. I'm telling you friends, NO amount of education, money or even good friends and family could have gotten me through these past 7 months. I needed HIM more than I have ever needed anything in my life.  I thank my parents for teaching me to know, love, and grow with Jesus Christ. I thank them for making me go to church on Sundays, even when I would spend the night out with a friend and begged not to have to go. These seeds planted early in a child's life really DO grow. I promise you, if we all did a blog post in 30 yrs about our kids, most all of them will have gone through some kind of hardship. Without Christ in their heart, it will be a very difficult journey. So teach them well. I know now it doesn't matter whether my kids go to Oak Grove or PCS, whether they grow up in this neighborhood or that, whether they have a car on their 16th birthday.  My single.most.responsibility as a parent is to help them know, love, and grow with their heavenly father. This is the ONLY thing that will get them through this evil world.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

2- Invest in people. Invest in Relationships. Trust me, if you haven't already, one day you will desperately need friends and family in your life to lift you up through hard times. To support and love you when you desperately need it. To hug your neck. To bring a meal. To send a letter. To buy you a devotional. To PRAY for you. Invest! Go to their kids birthday parties. Go to the baby showers and engagement dinners. Return a phone call, even when you don't have time. Just give your time. Give your love. Even when it's the last thing you want to do on a Saturday, do it anyway. It means so much. My friends and family kept me afloat during the first few months after bringing Miller home. We have never felt so prayed for. When we got home after his first surgery, friends had stocked my refrigerator and pantry full of food! And then the meals started coming and I think we had dinner brought to us every night for an entire 6 weeks. We were overwhelmed with the amount of love that people showed us. We received hundreds of prayer grams in the mail. We received gift cards to restaurants around town with cards telling us we deserved a "date night." We felt so loved during these past 7 months that I feel it my duty to love on others this way. And I plan on doing just that!

Dear Friends, Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God. 1 John 4:7

3- Quantity=Quality. I remember reading a parenting book when I was pregnant with Maggie, and it was saying that the biggest misconception about parenting is quantity vs. quality time. It said that most parents think they can spend one quality afternoon or night with their kids and they have done their job for the week. But in the eyes of a kid, quantity time=quality time. See there is no such thing as just quality time. It doesn't matter to a kid whether you are taking him to the circus or throwing sticks in the backyard. It doesn't matter if it's a trip to Disneyworld or a trip to Walmart. In THEIR eyes, quantity of time equals quality. I realize now how incredibly short life is. And although I don't like to admit it out loud, or even think about it, we never know when our last day with our kids will be. I'm writing this in hopes that I can get much better at it myself! Let's put the laundry up for the day. Don't worry about the mess in the kitchen, or the yard that needs mowing. Read a book with them. Play hide and seek. Bake an imaginary blueberry pie at their kitchen and eat every last drop with fake utensils(which we have already done this morning). Just BE with your kids. In the last month, I have known of 2 kids under the age of 5 who lost their life. Both were unfortunate accidents. I'm sure the parents were going back beating themselves up over NOT reading that book, or playing that game with them.  I've also been following the little girl Ava on facebook who is fighting a deadly brain tumor. She was fine one day and the next the doctors were giving her parents terrible news. LIFE IS SHORT! Just BE with your kids every second that you possibly can. I once heard a motivational speaker say that the one single thing most people regret when they are on the death bed is not spending enough time with the people they love, and mostly their kids.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17 


4- Miracles happen every day, so believe in them! Do not stress over the little things. Be thankful. Feel blessed. And as hard as it is, give your worries over to God. He will do GREAT things in your life if you trust him!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  Philippians 4:6

Since I didn't document Miller's 6 months stats, I guess I will do so now. Miller weighed 19 lbs. 7 oz. He was 27 1/2 inches long. He was in the 75th percentile for both. He is wearing a size 3 diaper, and 18-24 month clothes. He is a CHUNK!!!! He has more rolls on his little thighs that I can count! He is a JOY to be around and I thank God every single day that he blessed us with Miller. If I could go back and change it all, I don't know that I would. Of course I would like to avoid the surgery part on Miller's little body but our whole family is better and closer because of it. And I truly believe Miller will be a better man because of what he has been through.

To my Miller,
You will read this one day and I want you to know how incredibly proud your mommy and daddy are. You have handled your journey like a champ, with a big beautiful smile on your face the entire time. You have hardly complained, and are a complete JOY to have in our house. We can't imagine life without you now. You were the perfect addition to our family. Your big sister loves you to pieces and is always watching out for you. She checks your heart daily with her stethoscope to make sure you are ok. She always ask when we are going back to the hospital, and I tell her it will be a long long time. I hope you use the journey you have been on to glorify God one day. Tell everyone about the miracle that you are. Tell everyone how God saved your life. I hope that one day you are so very thankful for the life you have been given. You have parents and a sister that love you beyond description. We will do anything and everything for you, my sweet little man. We love you so much!