The New Me

Ok, here is the post I keep coming back to, but cannot finish. It brings too many emotions up and the tears just start flowing. My Miller turned 7 months old yesterday. He IS a miracle. 30 years ago babies with this heart condition did not live 7 days. Now, as Miller turns 7 months old, I am reminded of all the things I have learned from my sweet Miller and our journey together.

1- First and foremost, teach your children about God. When I think back on those first few days after leaving the hospital, and all the emotions that I felt, He was the ONLY thing that kept me going. He carried me when I didn't feel like walking. He gave me strength when I was too weak to get out of bed. He gave me comfort when I was scared to death. He gave me hope in what felt like a hopeless world. I'm telling you friends, NO amount of education, money or even good friends and family could have gotten me through these past 7 months. I needed HIM more than I have ever needed anything in my life.  I thank my parents for teaching me to know, love, and grow with Jesus Christ. I thank them for making me go to church on Sundays, even when I would spend the night out with a friend and begged not to have to go. These seeds planted early in a child's life really DO grow. I promise you, if we all did a blog post in 30 yrs about our kids, most all of them will have gone through some kind of hardship. Without Christ in their heart, it will be a very difficult journey. So teach them well. I know now it doesn't matter whether my kids go to Oak Grove or PCS, whether they grow up in this neighborhood or that, whether they have a car on their 16th birthday.  My single.most.responsibility as a parent is to help them know, love, and grow with their heavenly father. This is the ONLY thing that will get them through this evil world.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

2- Invest in people. Invest in Relationships. Trust me, if you haven't already, one day you will desperately need friends and family in your life to lift you up through hard times. To support and love you when you desperately need it. To hug your neck. To bring a meal. To send a letter. To buy you a devotional. To PRAY for you. Invest! Go to their kids birthday parties. Go to the baby showers and engagement dinners. Return a phone call, even when you don't have time. Just give your time. Give your love. Even when it's the last thing you want to do on a Saturday, do it anyway. It means so much. My friends and family kept me afloat during the first few months after bringing Miller home. We have never felt so prayed for. When we got home after his first surgery, friends had stocked my refrigerator and pantry full of food! And then the meals started coming and I think we had dinner brought to us every night for an entire 6 weeks. We were overwhelmed with the amount of love that people showed us. We received hundreds of prayer grams in the mail. We received gift cards to restaurants around town with cards telling us we deserved a "date night." We felt so loved during these past 7 months that I feel it my duty to love on others this way. And I plan on doing just that!

Dear Friends, Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God, and knows God. 1 John 4:7

3- Quantity=Quality. I remember reading a parenting book when I was pregnant with Maggie, and it was saying that the biggest misconception about parenting is quantity vs. quality time. It said that most parents think they can spend one quality afternoon or night with their kids and they have done their job for the week. But in the eyes of a kid, quantity time=quality time. See there is no such thing as just quality time. It doesn't matter to a kid whether you are taking him to the circus or throwing sticks in the backyard. It doesn't matter if it's a trip to Disneyworld or a trip to Walmart. In THEIR eyes, quantity of time equals quality. I realize now how incredibly short life is. And although I don't like to admit it out loud, or even think about it, we never know when our last day with our kids will be. I'm writing this in hopes that I can get much better at it myself! Let's put the laundry up for the day. Don't worry about the mess in the kitchen, or the yard that needs mowing. Read a book with them. Play hide and seek. Bake an imaginary blueberry pie at their kitchen and eat every last drop with fake utensils(which we have already done this morning). Just BE with your kids. In the last month, I have known of 2 kids under the age of 5 who lost their life. Both were unfortunate accidents. I'm sure the parents were going back beating themselves up over NOT reading that book, or playing that game with them.  I've also been following the little girl Ava on facebook who is fighting a deadly brain tumor. She was fine one day and the next the doctors were giving her parents terrible news. LIFE IS SHORT! Just BE with your kids every second that you possibly can. I once heard a motivational speaker say that the one single thing most people regret when they are on the death bed is not spending enough time with the people they love, and mostly their kids.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17 


4- Miracles happen every day, so believe in them! Do not stress over the little things. Be thankful. Feel blessed. And as hard as it is, give your worries over to God. He will do GREAT things in your life if you trust him!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.  Philippians 4:6

Since I didn't document Miller's 6 months stats, I guess I will do so now. Miller weighed 19 lbs. 7 oz. He was 27 1/2 inches long. He was in the 75th percentile for both. He is wearing a size 3 diaper, and 18-24 month clothes. He is a CHUNK!!!! He has more rolls on his little thighs that I can count! He is a JOY to be around and I thank God every single day that he blessed us with Miller. If I could go back and change it all, I don't know that I would. Of course I would like to avoid the surgery part on Miller's little body but our whole family is better and closer because of it. And I truly believe Miller will be a better man because of what he has been through.

To my Miller,
You will read this one day and I want you to know how incredibly proud your mommy and daddy are. You have handled your journey like a champ, with a big beautiful smile on your face the entire time. You have hardly complained, and are a complete JOY to have in our house. We can't imagine life without you now. You were the perfect addition to our family. Your big sister loves you to pieces and is always watching out for you. She checks your heart daily with her stethoscope to make sure you are ok. She always ask when we are going back to the hospital, and I tell her it will be a long long time. I hope you use the journey you have been on to glorify God one day. Tell everyone about the miracle that you are. Tell everyone how God saved your life. I hope that one day you are so very thankful for the life you have been given. You have parents and a sister that love you beyond description. We will do anything and everything for you, my sweet little man. We love you so much!

We Did It!

In the words of Dora the Explorer, "We Did It! We Did It! Hooray!! We Did It!!" We made it past Miller's second surgery and I am embarrassed that I am just now blogging about it. I have run into 3 people lately that I haven't seen in years that told me they read my blog. Whoops, I promise to do a better job! 

We are 7 weeks post surgery tomorrow. We are thrilled, relieved, excited, thankful, etc. etc. I feel like I have been treading in the deep end of a swimming pool for 6 months, barely holding my head above water. BUT NOW....I feel like I am sitting on the side of the pool with a cocktail in my hand. Things are SOOO good. Miller is doing phenomenal. He is a normal little 6 month old baby, who laughs out loud, eats like crazy, rolls around and puts everything in his mouth, and is super curious. He is just the sweetest little guy in the whole world. We are starting to get out and about with him, and he loves to go places. He is nosy, nosy, nosy and checks out everybody and everything in site. He especially loves to take Maggie to school with me so he can see all the other little boys and girls!

I have been working on a much more serious blog, mostly about what I have learned and how I have changed through all of this. It will be coming next. Then on to the more fun things, like what in the world we have been doing for the past 7 weeks. For now, here are some of the latest photos. These were actually taken 2 days before Miller's surgery.

Pre Op Appointment

Yesterday we took Miller to his pre op appointment. I cannot believe his surgery is 6 days away. To say that I am nervous would be a huge understatement. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to kick and scream like a 2 year old child and beg God not to make me do it. Not to make me drive to Jackson and hand my child over to a team of surgeons to open his chest and perform heart surgery on my 5 month old. What I really want to do is just curl up here in some comfy pj's and hold Miller hostage forever. However, the choice is not mine to make. This surgery is not elective. It is a necessity for him to survive.

I learned yesterday that Miller now weighs 16 lbs. 10 oz. He is a big boy, and the doctors are thrilled with that.  Dr. Salazar told us a healthy baby means a healthy heart. We continue to thank God daily for our support group. I get comments from people all over the country on our caring bridge site. I think we are on every church prayer list there is! I just got an email from a high school friend who forwarded me her church's newsletter this week with a prayer request for Miller and his upcoming surgery. I can't tell you what that feels like, but it brings me to tears every time. God is watching out over this precious boy, and it surely helps that SO many people are praying for him!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. Phillipians 4:6. 

This has always been one of my very favorite verses. However, have you ever really tried to do as God commands us to do. Do we realize how much we worry? How anxious we are about everything? In Matthew 6:27, Jesus says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  This is so so true, and yet we stress about decorating our houses, being craftier than the mom next door, picking up toys after dinner, what to wear to a special event, the list goes on and on. I know so many people who get up in arms about the things that really do not matter. I used to be one of them. I still am one of them. During these last few months, I have tried SO HARD to live out this verse. When I'm feeling worried or nervous, I just thank God for all he has given me and give the rest to him. That is probably, single handedly, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Just give my children over to God. I am a type A personality, always in control, always organized with a specific plan. But I did it, and I hope you have too. No matter how hard we try not to think about it, our kids lives are not in our hands. So I've spent many hours lately praying to the man that gives and the man that takes away.

I know Miller will do great with this surgery. His heart will be working so much better after this, and he will feel like a million bucks. Our family can return to a somewhat normal lifestyle, without the worry of another surgery anytime soon. I have the upmost confidence in God's plan for Miller, and for our family. He has never let us down, nor will he ever. Please pray for us as the surgery day approaches. Pray that we have the strength to hand over our miracle baby to this amazing group of doctors. Pray that Maggie understands why we have to spend a week or two in Jackson, and that she isn't worried about her baby brother. Pray that Miller has a fast and pain free recovery. And pray for the doctors. Dr. Salazar has made it clear of his faith in the Lord, and I have the upmost confidence that the greatest physician of all is telling Dr. Salazar exactly what to do that day!

I will update our caringbridge site while we are in the hospital. Thank you for your love, support, prayers, etc!   http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/millerbrianmoore

Recap of April

April came and went before I could even blog! Miller had his 4 month check up and all was good. He weighed 16 lbs and was 26 inches long. He was in the 85% percentile in both. He's a big boy now!! He is wearing 12 month clothes!

Then we had a little scare the first week. Miller got a fever virus late one night and he was screaming and we couldn't calm him down. We took him to Forrest General ER and they airlifted him and me in their helicopter to UMC in Jackson. We were there for 2 nights where they monitored him closely. This was my view when we landed on top of the hospital at 5am!

Sweet sweet boy 

Jack turned 1 with an adorable sock monkey birthday party!! He has a smile that is contagious!! Maggie was a BIG help opening his presents and eating his cake. 

We had a great Easter. We went to church on Friday night. Our church had 5 Easter services and Friday night worked best! Sunday we had a wonderful lunch at my parents's house and managed to get a couple pictures!!

All ready for school. Only 1 more week left until summer break.

My main squeeze. He has developed into quite the little character. He has a belly laugh that will light up a room. He is so vocal. I can put him under a ceiling fan and he will squeal at it for hours like a little pig! He is a total rolly polly and is definitely rolling over now. He is also teething like crazy so EVERYTHING goes in his mouth! He is fascinated with watching his big sister.

We went to Anderson and Benson's first birthday party! Cannot believe they are 1!!

We went to Saylors 1st birthday party too. It was a sunshine theme and I love any excuse for Maggie to wear yellow!!

We've had low grade fever and a runny nose for a week now, which means lots of naps on the couch!

Teething

Brother and Sister LOVE. Look how big Miller is. He is a total chunk now.

I LOVE this picture. It describes my house perfectly.

Sorry for all the iphone pictures. I rarely lug around my real camera now! We had a second hospital stay the third week of April for Miller's pre surgery heart catheterization. It went good. He hated waking up from the sedation medicine and had a hard afternoon recovering, so they kept us overnight to monitor.

April in a nutshell was 2 hospital stays, 3 kid birthday parties, 4 month check up, both of my parents birthdays, Easter, and Brian and I had a get away one night to the coast with some really good friends. I am exhausted just thinking about all we have done! Oh...and did I mention we also potty trained Maggie! Woo hoo!! And...Brian is training for his first half marathon! Whew!

The countdown is on for his next surgery. 12 days left. Please pray hard for us.

Help!

People. Help.

I need some good work out songs on my iPod. Seriously, last night while jogging I was listening to my work out mix and Taylor Swifts "Fifteen" comes on! Yep. You heard me. Sad thing is, it was one of the best ones on there! My 10 yr. old niece's playlist is way cooler than mine, I am sure of it! So help! Post your work out playlist! Or message me some of your favorite people to download.

K. Thanks.

3 1/2 months!

Miller is 3 and half months now! He weighs 14 lbs and is 26 inches long. He is wearing size 6-9 month clothes, and a size 2 diaper! He is just the sweetest thing in the world. He is cooing and smiling, and laughs hysterically if you tickle him. His smile is big, bright and contagious and will make you smile from ear to ear. He is so cuddly, and is happiest in my arms. He is a cat napper, nothing more, nothing less. He sleeps pretty well at night, and is going about 6 hrs without a bottle. He loves tummy time, and is holding his head up really well.

We had a rough patch with him, but I think we have it all sorted out now. We thought he had colic, but then figured out it was reflux. And after finding the right formula, the right nipples, and the right dose of Zantac, things are looking up hill!!  He has been much better lately! He loves Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I think because when he was in the hospital and I couldn't hold him, I used to sing it to him while I rubbed his head until he fell asleep. Maggie was going through a time where she was obsessed with that song, so I guess that's why I sang it to him. Anyway, if he is fussy or crying, usually Twinkle Twinkle will calm him down! That or Days of our Lives. If he is crying and I walk in front of the TV and Days of Our Lives is on, he stops immediately to watch his soaps. It's hilarious! Brian cannot believe I'm already teaching him to watch that junk!!

His surgery is fast approaching. He goes for a heart catheterization on April 18th, and then they will schedule the surgery after that. We are thinking early May. We are so ready to get it over with, and feel confident that his health is optimal right now for the next surgery.

 

Now this little girl is getting too big!! She looks and acts like she is 5 yrs old to me and I can't take it!! She is going to "school" at First Baptist 3 times a week and loves it! Her favorite thing is playground time. Although, she did come home singing Jesus Loves Me last week and I was one proud mamma!  She loves her little brother to pieces, and wants to be everywhere he is. She calls him, "my friend, baby brother Miller." She also calls Brian and Me, "my friend, Dada" and "my friend, Mamma." ha! She says the funniest things these days. She is getting quite the priss attitude too! She rolled her eyes the other day and Brian said, "Oh Lord, I can't handle two Kimberly's!" Just the other night, she kept trying to get a snack out of of the snack drawer around suppertime and I kept saying no. Finally, I got real stern and said "Maggie, Mommy says NO!!" And she looked up at me and said, "Well, Maggie says YES!!" I about FELL OUT! Goodness we are going to have our hands full!  On a positive note, she has been the absolute best we could possibly ask for with all of the things going on with Miller. I thank God everyday for her kind spirit and good attitude. She is the perfect big sister for Miller.

She puts her baby dolls "night night" with a wet wipe for the blanket!

She likes to wear my sunglasses and drive my Tahoe.

She helped herself to some veggie straws and this was the evidence in my living room!

She is always eager to go on a Target run with me JUST so she can get some pockcorn!

This is our one and only family photo! It was taken on my 30th bday at my parents house!

I have searched for something meaningful to go over Miller's crib since he was born. I looked and looked while I was pregnant and never found anything I liked. I just decided I wanted to have  Jeremiah 29:11 over him, which has always been one of my favorite verses. It offers so much hope and security. I have shed many a tears rocking Miller in his room at night, while the house is quite and everyone else is sleeping. Now, I look up at this every night and am reminded of God's promise to us. I think it's perfect. Not too bad for a cheap TJ Maxx mirror and some chalk board paint!

Products and Recipes

I loved Jill's blog about bathroom products, and I am definitely going to do mine one day! But that would take forever bc I have so many!! Today, I just got back from my weekly Walmart and Sams run and I thought it would be fun to share with you some of our favorite food products! Keep in mind we are doing no sugar at my house so these will be healthy choices!

Veggie Straws- from Sams. Maggie's favorite snack. No preservatives. It's spinach, tomato & sweet potato flavored. They are so good!

Already peeled garlic! Who knew? I discovered these at Walmart about 6 months ago. I absolutely hate peeling garlic but I will not use the minced kind in a jar. Fresh garlic is just too good for you! These have been a lifesaver! I put garlic in everything now! They are only like $2.

Turkey pepperoni. These are very low in fat and only have 70 calories for 17 of them! I snack on them if I'm feeling munchy. I take my time eating them one by one like potato chips. They are 0 carbs, 0 sugars! And 17 of them will totally fill you up!

I'm an eggs and bacon girl for sure. And lucky for my no sugar diet, eggs and bacon are acceptable. However, I cringe at the thought of eating bacon everyday with nitrates and preservatives in it. Even turkey bacon has nitrates. Well, I just discovered this at Walmart. It's part of Oscar Meyer's new select line, and you have to make sure its uncured bacon. This has no nitrates or preservatives.  Its more expensive, but actually taste like bacon should taste! I highly recommend it.

Now same goes with hot dogs. I try not to let Maggie eat hot dogs with nitrates or preservatives. But these turkey dogs have no nitrates and taste excellent. She loves them!

Squeeze packs, as we call them. They are simply organic baby food. We take these everywhere with us as healthy snacks for Maggie. She loves them. This one is apricot and sweet potato. Its a quick way for her to get in a veggie and fruit for the day!

Minute brown and wild rice. 0 sugar. Warm in microwave for 60 seconds. And voila...a healthy side dish. These are really good. Maggie eats them too.

Our favorite...salmon. I could go on and on about the benefits of salmon. However, most grocery stores only carry farm raised and there is a BIG difference between farm raised and wild caught. Sams has these Alaskan Salmon Fillets in the freezer section and they are 100% natural and wild caught. They are delicious!

I have been eating a lot of eggs lately. When I do high protein diets, I tend to eat a lot of eggs. But I have to change up the way I cook them everyday to keep me interested. This is my new favorite way to make eggs. You will never make an omelette again!

Baked Eggs

Spray small ramekin with Pam. I use a ramekin the size of an omelette. Crack your eggs directly into ramekin. Do not scramble or stir. Salt and Pepper eggs. Then place whatever goodies you like in an omelette on top. Bake at 375 for 12-14 min. This one has crumbled bacon, green onions, sauteed spinach, and grated parmesan cheese. How yummy does that look?!

We also make mexican ones with a little chili powder and cumin and then top it with salsa before cooking. Also, we have used leftover asparagus from dinner the night before, or red bell pepper, sausage, diced ham, the possibilities are endless! Make them...you won't be sorry.

Also, I started AdvoCare's 24 day challenge to lose weight yesterday! I feel fabulous and already have more energy! I will keep you updated on my progress!